Blows your back out as your homie

Gotchu walkin funny as a testament to our friendship.

makes you cum in the spirit of comradery

Got ur legs on my shoulders to show u how deep our friendship is

hits it from the back to let you know im here for you

(via laragazzadrownedintherabbithole)


& some men STILL won’t understand…



Why do people drink alcohol it tastes disgusting

you don’t drink it for the taste. u drink shit like apple juice for the taste. you drink alcohol to get rid of the bad taste that every awful person in your life has left

(via koalatea)


what do you MEAN it’s inappropriate for gold digger by kanye west to be my wedding song

(via echoseiersen)


pay nicki minaj a quarter of a million dollars to be better than you on your track

(via echoseiersen)

I would post less selfies if I weren’t so consistently good looking

Seems like y’all might need this photo of me shopping on your dash



(via whoredinarygirl)


Studies show that women apologize more than men, often for perfectly reasonable acts like, you know, taking up space. 

So watch this Pantene commercial here to inspire you to stop saying sorry for no reason. 

(via beautyandrags)


embrace the power of no
hold it high above your head
let it speak of pride
let it speak of strength
explore no
like you are an archaeologist
dust off all its edges
let it be reborn
whisper no
scream no
watch it roll off your tongue
and onto the floor
do not apologize
do not bend to retrieve it
you have a right to discomfort
you have a right to
a lack of desire
merciless anger
uninhibited pain
you have a right to no
stand at the top of a mountain
let no barrel from your lungs
hear your echo holler back
never forget its sound

I read several dozen stories a year from miserable, lonely guys who insist that women won’t come near them despite the fact that they are just the nicest guys in the world.

..I’m asking what do you offer? Are you smart? Funny? Interesting? Talented? Ambitious? Creative? OK, now what do you do to demonstrate those attributes to the world? Don’t say that you’re a nice guy — that’s the bare minimum.

“Well, I’m not sexist or racist or greedy or shallow or abusive! Not like those other douchebags!”

I’m sorry, I know that this is hard to hear, but if all you can do is list a bunch of faults you don’t have, then back the fuck away..

..Don’t complain about how girls fall for jerks; they fall for those jerks because those jerks have other things they can offer. “But I’m a great listener!” Are you? Because you’re willing to sit quietly in exchange for the chance to be in the proximity of a pretty girl (and spend every second imagining how soft her skin must be)? Well guess what, there’s another guy in her life who also knows how to do that, and he can play the guitar. Saying that you’re a nice guy is like a restaurant whose only selling point is that the food doesn’t make you sick. You’re like a new movie whose title is This Movie Is in English, and its tagline is “The actors are clearly visible”.

Start ignoring people who threaten your joy.
Literally, ignore them.
Say nothing.
Don’t invite any parts of them into your space.
Alex Elle (via textposter)

(via fingerblaster113)

I want freedom. I want freedom to kiss whoever I want and have it meannothing. I want freedom to fall in love with someone and suddenly stop wanting to kiss people I don’t care about. I want freedom to change my mind, to feel differently in a year or a month or a day. I want freedom to spend my money on clothes I don’t need and food that could kill me one day. I want freedom to move to California tomorrow if it suits me. To buy fourteen cats. To wake up one day and realize I want to be a stripper or a hand model or a housewife. I want freedom. I want autonomy. Control over myself. I do not want to feel obligated to be with someone, or to come home to them every night. I do not have an aversion to exclusivity. I do not want to run away from fond feelings, to a genuine connection, to love - but it has to be something that I choose - every day. I refuse to sign a metaphorical contract binding myself to someone for any set period of time. I refuse to let the feeling of love become a promise to love forever because I cannot keep that promise. I refuse to adhere to the expectation that I will always be or do or feel the same as in this moment. I need to be my own, wholly and unapologetically. 


posting selfies is nice because they allow me to directly convert Notes into Ego in a manner of alchemy that has eluded scientists for centuries

(via neez-y)


my feminist goal is not to convince men that girls are of value, my feminist goal is to achieve a future where the judgement of our value isn’t in the hands of men.